sound the bell, school’s in sucka
A couple days ago I put a CD in Skylar’s 6-disc changer that hadn’t been played in at least seven years. Written on the CD’s face in once-blue-now-purple ink were the words “A Burned CD: aka D.O.’s Burned CD”… seems I was quite the jokester during my high school days.
The album might have been more appropriately titled “Old School Rap” or “Relatively Clean Hip Hop Songs to Which a Toe Will Tap”. Regardless of what was written on the CD, it remains intact and playable to this day. As I drove around town listening to such hits as Rapper’s Delight, Cantaloop (Flip Fantasia), and U Can’t Touch This, a lyric from Hammer’s mouth (after which this post is named) subtly reminded me that I owed odfm’s readership an update on the status of my job search.*
For many North Texas schools, today marks the first day of the 08-09 school year. Unfortunately, I don’t count today as the first day of school because my job search never made the transition from search to job.
Now that isn’t to say that I might not still get a teaching job. I’ve heard from countless people that it is very common for schools to hire after school starts, when they realize they need more teachers than they’d originally planned. However, even though I’ve applied at six or seven (I forget) school districts, I’d be lying if I said I was expecting that to happen to me.
So next time you hear somebody say, “Oh there’s such a teacher shortage!”, feel free to correct that person with the severity of your liking.
And in case you’re wondering how I’m handling all this, then you’re real sweet. I’m fine. I’m thankful that I already have a job, one that allows me to do stuff like this from time to time:
I’m a little disheartened by the fact that I seem to have spent somewhere in the ballpark of $700 for naught, but all in all I’m ok with the situation. So don’t take this as a D.O.’s-feeling-sorry-for-himself-and-looking-for-sympathy post. It’s not one of those. It’s just an update. Several of you precious people have been asking how the search is going, and now you know.
Stay tuned. Things could (and likely will) change. I mean, as fun as getting paid for short stints as Floatie Man is, I’m not so sure it’ll get me where I ultimately want to be in life. More on that later… maybe.
*Us3’s lyrics reminded me of a post I need to write about “jump to the jam, boogie-woogie jam slam”, but I wouldn’t hold your breath in expectation of that one getting published.
and all the single women wept: 2nd edition
It started nearly two months ago when I received a phone call from Mikey Mills informing me, so as to rid himself of the title “sneaky”, that he’d bought an engagement ring which he intended to use in the weeks to come.
It progressed in the form of a handful of additional phone calls and text messages, the most surprising of which went something like this:
D.O.: Eeahhhhh
Mikey: Meeyaaa
D.O.: What are you doing?
Mikey: About to get in the shower and go to work
D.O.: So… when are you going to use that ring?
Mikey: I think… tomorrow.
D.O.: Whoa! Fire it up baby! Eeehouweeeph!
Mikey: Yis
D.O.: How are you going to do it?
Mikey: I think we’re going to sneak into a hotel swimming pool and swim during the day, then go to our favorite resturant…
D.O.: White Castle?
Mikey: No, Wendy’s…
D.O.: Oh… right.
Mikey: And then I’m going to take her up to the mountains to watch the sunset and ask her.
D.O.: That’s just fine
That conversation went on for a couple more minutes and contained dialogue that would be a waste of any odfm reader’s time. This story (which is not a waste of time) reached its climax-to-date upon my receiving a text from Mikey last night that read:
“We have success! My arms are raised in victory!”
And with that you have the D.O. version of how Mikey Mills and Laura Nutter got engaged. No doubt this will come as a delight to all who hear it, as anyone who knows the two of them would likely have a hard time thinking of a couple who is more perfect for one another.
So too, you have the second in a long line (hopefully 10 long) of posts telling stories of Roommates who are on their way to the altar.
It seems that these posts are coming once every two weeks or so… who’s got next?
road trip anyone?
Andrew Peterson’s Behold the Lamb of God tour, December 18th at the Ryman Auditorium (the tour’s closest stop this year)… I could feel it. Who’s in?
and all the single women wept
Flower Mound, TX – Yesterday morning, as the sun was emerging above Texas’ Eastern horizon, Colby Neal Ivey of Luther Street fame, asked Mackenzie Annette Martin to be his wife. Upon Martin’s “yes” reply, the couple officially became engaged.
Though there were no witnesses of the event, a gathering of close friends was held shortly following the couple’s post-engagement breakfast. There Ivey recounted the story of what happened just hours before and Martin chimed in where he left details unmentioned.
It was at this meeting too that the ring was passed around for all to see. Ivey shared the story of how he made (yes, made) the ring out of a chunk of silver he’d bought from a local jeweler earlier that week.
“He told us he was going to propose sometime in the next couple of weeks” said Ivey’s roommate Scott, “and then he called me [Friday] and said he was going to do it in the morning, and to be at her house at 10 am to celebrate. Wow!”
Friends and family haven’t stopped proclaiming their approval of the to-be-marriage, and single women from Mexico to Canada (and even a few in China and Japan) mourned the loss of the once-World’s Most Eligible Bachellor. Sources say that the title will now belong to Jon Tettleton, also of Luther Street fame.
book review vol. eighteen: Jesus for President
Jesus for President was published while I was in Philly working at my internship. While working there I met both Shane Claiborne and Chris Haw, the authors of this book. One of the perks of working (for free) with the folks in this camp up in Philadelphia was that I managed to acquire a copy of this book for free. Four months later I finished it.
I was very excited about reading this book because Shaner’s first book did one of the biggest numbers on me that any book has ever done, and I was curious to see if his second would do the same. I was also excited to see the actual book, as each page is graphically designed in the hippest of ways. See the Jesus for President website for some samples (and know that your’s truly designed the blog for that site).
The book is divided up into four parts, each that explore the political aspects of the subject at hand. Part one is essentially a brief (and arguably overly light-hearted) overview of the Old Testiment. Part two introduces us to Jesus, the love revolutionary. Part three is a sort of survey of Church history and shows the follies of the Church when it’s found itself in bed with the State. Part four offers examples of political snapshots for “ordinary radicals”.
I found that this paragraph on page 240 was a fairly good summation of what the book was addressing:
Much of the world now lies in the ruins of triumphant and militant Christianity. The imperially baptized religion created a domesticated version of Christianity — a dangerous thing that can inoculate people from ever experiencing true faith. (Everyone is a Christian, but no one knows what a Christian is anymore.) Our hope is that the postmodern, post-Christian world is once again ready for a people who are peculiar, people who spend their energy creating a culture of contrast rather than a culture of relevancy.
Though Claiborne and Haw had plenty of good things to say in their book about politics and how Christians should and shouldn’t view it, I didn’t love the book. I will say though, that a major reason I felt that way is probably the bad taste in my mouth that remains from the internship. The book isn’t perfect, but it certainly wasn’t terrible.
So if you want to read a political book during this election year, then consider this one of your options. If you don’t want to read a political book, then you’re in good company. Most people don’t.
notable “came from’s”
Being that I’m so shamelessly obsessed with my own blog, it should come as little surprise to anybody that I’m also on the up and up when it comes to how many (or few) people are visiting odfm, and where those people are coming from.
Most of the folks who come to these parts get here from their rss feeds or from links in other blogs’ sidebars, like my beloved Hendrick’s blog pictured above (a blog whose referrals account for an average of 10% of my total hits, thank you very much).
From time to time, people will see a comment I made on some other blog, a comment that most certainly left them in stitches, and they then click that weird two-letter name to experience the wonder that is odfm. One particular example of this happened just this week when I botched up a comment on Matt Chandler’s blog in which I used the brilliant subject-verb pairing, “I’m know…”. No doubt the people who clicked my name on that comment didn’t expect to find much on the other side. I’m confident I met those low expectations.
Then there’s folks who ask Google about things and, like it or not, end up here. Bless their hearts. Some of my favorite keywords that have brought people my way recently include:
- “songwriting club” (naturally)
- “derrickoliver.com/blog” (why’d you Google it?)
- “funny online diary” (Google, really, I’m honored)
- “living hope college station cult” (I can think of no post I’ve written that would support such a claim)
- “how to approach random people online” (oh yes, let me tell you)
- “does gmail have an online diary function?” (not yet, but Google you hire me and I’ll see what I can do)
- “numb finger spray paint” (and plenty of variations on the theme)
- “spinning cycling classes in brandon, manitoba” (my personal favorite)
So if you stumbled upon odfm by some weird happenstance over at google.com, well I’m happy you made it. Even if you did spent less than 5 seconds here (52 % of you fall into that category… I know it… I’m on to you).
secret admirer?
My roommate recently swapped his gas guzzling truck out for a fuel efficient Scion. Not 48 hours after making the purchase he left his car at an area Walmart and carpooled with a group of sports fans to the Ranger’s game. Upon his return, he found this affectionate letter on his car. There’s much debate as to the letter’s origin, but we all agree that he should be happy the only thing the writer did to his car was leave a note.
the journey of job searching
I walked out my front door, shirt tucked in, pants a little too long and resumés in tow ready to show the local school district that I was undoubtedly the person they most wanted to fill their teacher vacancies. When I sat down in Skylar’s bucket seat and turned her key, a familiar and soothing voice bade me a sincere welcome to The Everglow. It was bound to be an enjoyable journey.
I approached School One with my resumés in one hand (to sell myself) and my pant legs in the other (to prevent them from dragging the hot concrete). I walked in and found my way to the Main Office where Secretary One greeted me with a smile that songs get written about. I handed her my resumé, exchanged niceties, and went on my way, not necessarily feeling as though I would be hearing back from School One’s administration, but confident and amiable nonetheless. Secretary One’s smile was too pleasant, and Someone Else’s Arms was too nostalgic to feel any other way.
It took no more than 30 seconds of banter at School Two to hear the less-than-encouraging statement, “We’ve already filled all our positions for this school year…” from the secretary. I offered a sincere but disappointed “Congratulations!” knowing that their gain was very much my loss. I humored Secretary Two with Texas A&M University talk for a while, but it seemed The Network wasn’t strong enough to pull though this time. I walked back out to Skylar making sure my pants weren’t getting frayed prematurely, and as the AC cooled down my parking-lot-hot body, This is the Countdown reminded me that hearing secretaries tell of their lack of need for teachers may be something I needed to get used to. I assured myself, however, that it only takes one school that does need a teacher…
School Three required a door bell to be rung before any visitor could enter. As Staff Member Three answered the door she stood in such a way that made it clear I was welcome to talk, but not enter. The air conditioning escaping from that cracked door was all I would get. That, and a “I’ll give this to the secre… principal”. I cordially thanked her and retreated back to always-welcoming Skylar who sang The Ocean, and gently reminded me that I truly did need [Him] there tonight like the oceans need the waves.
Moments after Secretary Four took my resumé and poked her head into Principal Four’s office, she handed me my resumé and said that he wanted to speak with me. This, I thought, could be the one of “it only takes one” fame. Principal Four came out and greeted me with the menacing, “We’ve already filled all our positions…” to which I again replied, “Congratulations!”. Cover Me carried me to my next stop, bringing to mind all sorts of Ecclesiastical thoughts of life’s meaninglessness.
The secretaries at Schools Five and Six shared with me the now familiar “We’re full”. I congratulated each of these administrations on their success, each time a reminder to myself of my lack thereof. At this point I no longer made any effort to keep my pants’ hems from dragging the floor, rather I felt it quite fitting for them to do so.
As The Sun and the Moon came to a close and that familiar and soothing voice again greeted me and hoped I’d enjoyed my journey. I knew that insofar as she was concerned, I truly had, but apart from my very faithful friend The Everglow, it was a completely disappointing morning.
50 things I like like
Nearly two years ago I authored a post creatively entitled “75 things that make me smile and/or things I like“. After a bit of thought, I decided that there was no way revisiting that topic was going to hurt anything. As such, I’m revisiting it under the new title of “50 things I like like”. And that “like like” is the same as the “like like” in the conversation below:
Guy 1: Do you like her?
Guy 2: Yeah man, I do.
Guy 1: Whoa. Do you like like her??
Guy 2: Yeah man… I do.
That said, on with the list (there will be duplicates between this list and the previous one… and I refuse to apologize for that).
- Andrew Peterson
- Store brand Vanilla Creme Sandwich Cookies
- Milk
- Dads disregarding perceived thoughts of “cool” by playing with their children in public.
- Sarong Sundays
- SYTYCD and the gatherings it puts into motion.
- Sunsets
- Toddlers all bundled up in winter clothes
- Knowing people well enough that you can just stop by their house unannounced… and it not be weird.
- Summer Salsa, July Jazz, and Symphonic Saturdays
- Waking up, and realizing that you get to go back to sleep.
- Getting emails from people (as opposed to corporations)
- (Speed) Scrabble
- The (capital “R”) Roommates
- LOST
- Quality time spent with people who are dear to my soul.
- online diary for the masses (lame, I know).
- Sleeping under a warm blanket in a cold room.
- Partly cloudy, high of 70
- Taking pictures.
- Singing
- Realizing you have less than an hour remaining at work when you thought you had at least two to go.
- Clean kitchens
- Industrial strength toilets
- Free ice cream
- Conversations that you can’t stop thinking about for days thereafter.
- The Internet
- Riding my bike to work
- Truth
- χαρις
- Soft shirts
- Handstand contests
- TV on the Internet
- New guitar strings
- Laughing so hard that you cry, and sometimes fall on the ground.
- Clicking “Check Spelling” and seeing “No Misspellings Found” in reply.
- Bookshelves
- Musicals
- Thinking about my next tattoo
- Falling asleep within 60 seconds of the head making contact with the pillow.
- Hugs (Guys, girls, little kids… all excellent)
- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey
- Tabbed browsing
- Chacos
- Creating musical fusion with people more talented than myself.
- Putting on a freshly laundered shirt that smells so nice.
- Listening to talented pianists play (my/the) piano.
- Watching people do what they are excellent at.
- G-Chat
- When people enjoy things that are dear to me (see number 10 for an example).
I could go on, but 50 seems to be a pretty nice number and its taken me several days to get that far, so I’ll leave it at that. I’m very thankful for these things, and the pleasure they bring me, no matter how small, on a semi-regular basis.
Songwriting Club: Truck Driver Song
It’s time once again for another unveiling of a Songwriting Club product. This round’s topic was none other than “truck drivers”. I’ll offer two points before divulging the lyrics.
Point 1: I know many (read: three) of you have requested that I record these songs and share them with the masses. I’ve decided that I’m entirely for that idea, but I don’t currently have the mic necessary to do so. That said, as soon as a mic turns up (and I have some time), I’ll go back and post recordings of these songs for all to… well, hopefully enjoy.
Point 2: This round’s song turned out a little depressing. I really didn’t intend for that to happen, but it’s the turn the lyrics took and I just went with it. It is imperative that you know — before, during and after reading the lyrics — that they are in absolutely no way autobiographical. Truly. If it were not so I wouldn’t have told you.
Out on the Road
His dad drove a truck over forty hours a week
Up and down 35 for thirty years at least
His dad’s occupation would keep him from home
And the boy grew up while dad was out on the road
His sister was older and didn’t seem to care
How dad was gone most the time, how he wasn’t there
She always had boyfriends to carry her load
And the girl got pregnant while dad was out on the road
His mom full of strength, love, hope and grace
And beauty unfading in her aging face
She fought it but she could not stand being alone
And their marriage grew apart while dad was out on the road
One day the boy went to church with a friend
And heard about a Father whose presence wouldn’t end
He thought and he prayed about it all the way home
And the boy wrote this song while dad was out on the road
His dad drove a truck over forty hours a week
He wanted to meet all his family’s needs
But he didn’t call or come home enough to know
His family fell apart while he was out on the road